A downloadable game for Windows, macOS, and Linux

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Content warning: casual and internalized aphobia, unwelcome touching and kissing, misophonia

Word count: 4.6k words

A very short, simple visual novel made in a week, starring an asexual girl and her internal and social tribulations. Featuring one ending, an unlockable epilogue, and a few post-game secrets.

"I want someone to hold me, but not the way he wants to."  

Submission to the 2024 Ace Jam.

I ask you to play this game with kindness and empathy.

Languages: English, Brazilian Portuguese, Spanish , Simplified Chinese, French

If you enjoyed the game, consider leaving a donation and checking out my other projects.

The 'Donation Wallpaper' download is a way for you to support me and get some goodies. It's a wallpaper featuring redrawn art with the game's characters, available in HD, QHD, and 4K sizes for use in your desktop.

Spanish translation by: buncil_18 and nolly

Chinese translation by: seanor

French translation by: Efêmero

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StatusReleased
PlatformsWindows, macOS, Linux
Rating
Rated 5.0 out of 5 stars
(45 total ratings)
AuthorMeiri
GenreVisual Novel
Made withRen'Py
Tags2D, Amare, asexual, Cute, LGBT, Pixel Art, Queer, Short, Singleplayer
Average sessionAbout an hour
LanguagesEnglish, Spanish; Latin America, French, Portuguese (Brazil), Chinese (Simplified)
InputsMouse, Gamepad (any)
AccessibilitySubtitles

Download

Download NowName your own price

Click download now to get access to the following files:

someonetoholdme-win-linux.zip 96 MB
Version 1.3
someonetoholdme-osx.zip 60 MB
Version 1.3
Donation Wallpaper.zip 9.5 MB
if you pay $2.50 USD or more

Development log

Comments

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I really enjoyed this game, I may even have teared up a bit with it! I'm ace, and I shared some of the feelings with the main character. I have not, however, gone on a date, and I have no idea how I'd react if I went on one. But those parts of "You'll find someone" and the whole metaphor of flowers blooming... man, I felt that.

And then when the friend is so supportive and has colors and everything... it was so sweet after everything was dark. It was sweet and I liked it a lot!

Beautiful story all around!

(+1)

Thank you for playing! I’m really glad you enjoyed it ;w;

i'm a (probably) ace lesbian, and this was like a word for word description of my first date. funnily enough, i continued seeing him despite being very not into it the whole time and later stayed at his house. thankfully, he was a nice guy and could tell i wasn't comfortable, so even though i didn't say anything nothing happened. but even with just that much, it was still really really sickening to me.

at this moment i still don't know if i'm fully ace or if it would've been fine with a girl. i find it difficult to pursue romance. i empathise so much with that ambiguity, of not knowing for sure if the feeling is friendly or romantic. i also always assumed all my life that at some point, i would 'just know'. but i understand the boundaries i'll have to set if i take that step someday :'). i'll share this with my friends. thank you for sharing and best of luck to you <3

Hello. This game has shown me another side of that coin. I guess I never really thought woman were treated like this, BY MEN AND WOMAN. Like, I have heard of that flower thing, but I guess I didn't really get a perspective till now. I understood where she was coming from when she said she felt bad but trust me that guy is all the bad news. Especially if that's what he texted you after unblocking him. Sometimes, people don't change. Anyway, love y'all! sorry for whoever that actually went through this, don't be pressured into doing anything. And know you are imperfectly perfect.

(+1)

Eu fui muito atacada por esse jogo tá? Ç_Ç Tenho passado por uma crise existencial sobre ser ace, medo de solidão, a percepção de que penso meio diferente da maioria etc etc e o tanto que eu falei sobre isso com amigos não me deu a sensação de acolhimento que esse jogo me deu.

Desde o começo com a personagem não mostrando entusiasmo nas conversas sobre garotos até o arco final do desconforto dela de estar em uma situação que ela sabe pra onde tá encaminhando… Tudo muito bem escrito!

Inclusive, eu amei como você passou a sensação de desconforto, é uma situação “tão comum” mas com os sons e efeitos certos ficou vibes de terror/suspense. E pra fechar, um tom melancólico com as opções de dialogo sendo só pensamentos mas não correspondendo ao que ela queria realmente dizer. Perfeito aaaaaaaaaaaaa

A cena final do amigo sendo compreensível salvou minha alma pq antes eu já tava chorando bastante kjhjkhjkh 10/10

(1 edit)

;w; Ai, como eu fico feliz em ouvir que esse jogo te ajudou em alguma forma. Eu fiz ele pensando mesmo nessa solidão e como outras pessoas ace podem se sentir da mesma forma que eu. Fico com o coração quentinho.

Muito obrigada mesmo por jogar, e espero que você (todos nós, né?) encontremos essa compreensão em outros lugares da nossa vida também ❤️ tamo junto!!

(2 edits) (+1)

This game was... I don't have the proper words to express it. I went through a similar experience, during which most of my friends acted like I was picky for not liking the guy. I couldn't understand why I felt repulsed whenever he flirted with me or why I wanted to run away whenever he held my hand, but this explains it better than I ever could have. For a second, I thought you stalked me, lol. That guy liked me for how I dressed, didn't know a single thing about me, tore my friend group apart (Two of my friends liked him and hated me for "leading him on" despite me letting him know my lack of interest in dating him or anyone for that matter), and made me feel like shit (Not on purpose) for being unable to reciprocate his feelings. I am so glad that a game like this exists. A game that encapsulates what I have felt my whole life. I want someone to hold me the way I want to be held. I don't want to feel replaceable to my friends as soon as they find a partner. I want to be seen for who I am rather than what I can provide. I want to be viewed as a person, not an object. Thank you for bringing those words to life.

P.S. You made me cry hard, lmao.

(+1)

Thank you for playing and for sharing your experience. I’m really sorry that happened and I hope you’ll find that person someday ❤️ I can definetely relate too. Much love 🫂

(1 edit) (+1)

This game hits so close to home... Uheuheuhe... My little AFAB (aro)ace brain and heart...

I think I almost cried. Also I had to take breaks every other sentence because my emotions were all over the place-

But great game still ! Even though it sent me into a short emotional turmoil. Really good.

Thank you for playing!! ❤️ I hope the game helped you feel a little bit less alone ;w;

cute! thanks for making this!

(+2)

oh god... it's too relatable... thank you for making this

(+1)

Thank you for playing! <3 I’m glad you could relate to it, and I hope it brings you some comfort

(+1)

YAY, ASEXUAL REPRESENTATION

(+2)

Hell yeah!! All the games from this year’s 2024 Ace Jam are bangers that I recommend everyone plays!!

(+1)

The uncomfiness worked so well, but I loved hearing a little about being ace (even though I'm demi).

Dear lord I’m 4 months late… but thank you for playing!

WHATS THR MUSIC FROM OR DID U MAKE IT URSLEF???

omg its like undertale noises so cool

I like this game this story might resonate with people, especially women. I can understand that awkwardness and the way women can't say 'no' and are pressured by everyone. I like the words this game wants to tell us too no one is not normal or normal, we just be ourselves someday we will meet someone like us and like the way we are.

Thank you for recording your playthrough! <3 I’m happy to hear you enjoyed the game!!

Wow! This is really well done. Also, this story resonated with me: being uninterested in seeing pictures of my friends' boyfriends, not having a mental image of my ideal partner, to more serious things like not being sure I understand the difference feeling-wise between romantic love and friendly love. The quote on this page, "I want someone to hold me, but not the way he wants to," especially struck me. 

Your story was also kinda scary for me because of the red flags the boyfriend kept giving off that the MC didn't pick up on. I wanted to reach through the screen so many times and tell the MC not to meet this boy, that he's not interested in the kind of relationship she wants, that she needs to leave and go home.

The art is great, the font is delicious, and the music goes so hard. 


Spoilers:

I would like to ask that you add content warnings for unwelcome touching and kissing. While the narrative does hint that it's going to happen, I wasn't mentally prepared for it because there wasn't an explicit warning. I'm not mad, and I don't blame you, so please don't worry about it :).

I love how the characters at the beginning don't have eyes, and then you get to the boyfriend, and you see his eyes but they're staring right at you, and then you get to the end with your friend and now there's colors and you can see his eyes but he's looking at you gently.

Overall, really amazing, great work! Thank you for making this vn.

(+1)

Thank you for playing!! I’m adding the content warning to the page, thank you for letting me know and I’m so sorry for the scare 😭 I completely understand.

I’m very glad to hear that you enjoyed the experience still!!

caramba meu deus que jogo IRADO eu ADOREI !!!!! eu tinha visto ele um tempo atrás no twitter e fiquei mt interessada pq tinha tradução em português. 

eu amei o retrato da experiência ace!!!!! muito real e extremamente válida!!!!!!!!!!!! eu sou aroace e por muito tempo me perguntei por que todo mundo tinha interesse em romance e eu não. sinto muito que você tenha que ter descoberto de uma forma tão intrusiva, mas fico feliz que agora você consiga falar sobre isso de forma tão poderosa e sensível. muito obrigada por esse jogo. espero que você encontre várias pessoas pra te abraçarem (platonicamente) :')

(+1)

AAAA eu demorei para responder teu comentário desculpa 😭 não conheço nenhuma pessoal aroace brasileira pessoalmente, então tô tão feliz que você jogou e curtiu a experiência!! Uhuuu BR!!

muito obrigada, significa muito para mim. meu coração tá quentinho ❤️

Thank you for sharing this
(+2)

this was really nice!! i've recently realized i'm ace around two years ago and following that, i've started reevaluating the things i want in my life. the whole "feeling broken" and "not finding the right one" is definitely relatable lmao. that and when MC went on a date and felt wrong? yeah been there, even made a relationship out of it lmao.
and i don't know, i was really struck by the title when i first saw this on twitter. like yeah, i do want someone to hold me. i want someone in my life. i want the kind of love that promises me that they'll be there for me through all the troubles and mundane stuff in life. and i think realizing that 'yes, i can still have that, it'll just be difficult to find' was what broke my heart the most when i had sat down and fully thought through about what being ace means for me.
but i can live without romantic love, because i'm loved by my family and friends. and honestly, i've never more felt more at peace with myself than when i realized i was ace. so yeah!! thank you for the game!! made me think about a lot of things lmao.

(+2)

Dear god I’m so sorry for the late reply, I read your comment so many times I was sure I had replied to it!! Oops

I’m so so happy to hear that you enjoyed the experience and could relate to it. Before I released this game I was just questioning being ace, but after reading comments like yours from fellow aces I’ve been like…. yeah that’s me lol.

Thank so much you for playing! <3

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🦜🦜

(+2)

Eu realmente amei e chorei muito com esse jogo! Obrigada por traduzi-lo para português do Brasil!!! ❤️❤️💫

(+1)

Muito obrigada por jogar!! ❤️ Sempre me deixa muito feliz ver brasileiros jogando com a tradução!

(+1)

😁😁

(+4)

Thank you for creating a game with asexual representation. I love it and it really made me emotional and made me remember experiences from the past that were very similar to the MC, like pressure yourself to be like the others and go out on dates or convincing yourself to love someone and waiting to magically feel that "butterfly and special feeling" just to discovering that you just don't feel things in the same way that others do and it's totally fine. 

Also reading the comments, I noticed some people requesting translation in another language. It'll be awesome to spread this game in another language since there is little representation of asexual and I'd like to help with the translation in Spanish since I'm native, but I don't really have experience with translating games. If it's not an inconvenient, I'll gladly help <3

(+3)

Thank you for playing! It makes me happy to hear that you could relate, I really put in some very personal experiences of mine while writing this game, hoping that it would help others feel less alone ❤️

You don’t need to do any programming for the translation, it’s just translating the text and I can do the rest :D

Send me an email and I can you upload the files for you! applepiegame@gmail.com

(The same goes for anyone else reading this, I love working with translators to bring my games to more people. Just write me!)

(+2)

I really like this game, It looked like I was reading a story about myself. I don't usually play casual games, I have a Dota, but this caught my attention. Try it, you'll like it. Good luck !

(+1)

also, how about russian language? I'm not hinting at anything, but I could help translate the game into Russian since I'm a native speaker

(1 edit) (+1)

Hi! I’d love to have the game translated to other languages. Send me an email and we can talk about it!

applepiegame@gmail.com

EDIT: OH and thank you for playing!! I’m very happy that you could relate to the story.

(+1)

Espanol? plis

(+1)

If a spanish speaker would like to translate the game!

(+5)

God, I'm speechless... this was beautiful, BEAUTIFUL game and it made me cry a lot.

I could relate so much to many of the struggles the main charaacter faced. How she pretended to be interested in things she wasn't as a sort of defense mechanism, so others wouldn't call her "not normal". How she would agree to things either because she thought that's what she was supposed to do or because she didn't want to hurt the other person, not because it was what she WANTED to do. How she didn't understand the differences between certain types of love. How she longed for closeness, how she longed for a connection... but not in the way that the guy was imagining (not to mention all the red flags he gave).

The artstyle and sound effects really enhanced the writing and overall experience, you can really FEEL how confused, lonely, sad and/or disgusted the MC is depending on the scene. It's heartbreaking, especially taking into account what she says about society expecting certain things from women... it rings so true. 

This was a wonderful game, thank you so much for making it. It has definitely found a place in my heart and I don't think I'll ever forget it because of how much it made me feel. 

I'm looking forward to more of your games! <3

(+3)

I’m not gonna lie, reading your comment made me tear up a bit myself ;_; these points you mentioned are exactly what’s been going on with me lately, which lead to me writing about it on this game.

Thank you so much for playing it and for writing your thoughts here. I keep rereading it and feeling glad all over again that I didn’t listen to the doubt in my head that people wouldn’t receive this particular game well. I was afraid that it would come off as TOO honest!

Making this game was therapeutic for me, and I’m so, so glad it has touched you too. I was not expecting such a warm response for this story - waaa I’m getting teary eyed again ;w;

(The guy is a red flag machine for real. Sadly inspired by real convos I’ve had with guys in the days I tried….. shivers dating apps….)

(+4)

Hey! I played the game and it was extremely good! First, I loved the art, both evocative, explorative and adapted to the story! In a world where you're either "allo" or "broken", there is no room for nuances, the grey ones in the ace flag, everything is black and white! So it was very appropriate, and made the ending even stronger.

The sound design was particularly excellent too, from the music to the UNCOMFORTABLE sound effects (I have one scene in mind, and I really felt like I was in the protagonist's shoes).

The writing was very striking, and captured very well this feeling of trying to fit into allonormative expectations, as if sexuality were something to get, and beyond that, something we had to get, to finally "bloom" into our balanced selves.

Overall, a very strong game, with excellent pacing and coding effects, making the story hurt even deeper, but in a good way! Congrats!!

(+3)

OMG CHIM HELLO!! Thank you so much for playing! ;w;

Yes, those were exactly the thoughts I had in mind when deciding on a style and overall presentation for the game. From characters not having faces to the eerie music playing during scenes that I would usually choose a lighter, happier song if it were any other game, I’m really glad to know it worked and it had that impact on you.

That sound effect… yeah, I searched really hard for one that would match what I was hoping to convey in that scene. Probably listened to a couple dozen sound effects of that kind until I found the one. It was painful but worth it, lol

Thank you again for playing and for writing such a lovely comment, it means a lot to me!

(By the way, I’m looking forward to playing your submission to the jam too!! C’mon Ace Jam! Wooo)

(+2)

Psst! If you can, when discussing the game, try not to spoil the reveal of who the characters are at the end. It’s a little surprise for fans of my past projects! Wink wink nudge nudge